absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
