I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
