the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
