The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
