On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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