Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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