Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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