I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
