NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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