We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Less talking, more tequila
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
