in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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