it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
