I love black thongs
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i've created a new STD.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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