I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
