I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
