I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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