the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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