Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
