if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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