youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
