Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Two words: nipple clamps
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