I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
