Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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