Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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