come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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