She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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