WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
