If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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