Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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