If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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