it's like iHOP with fire
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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