hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
this is an emotional support booty call
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
