I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
