Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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