I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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