But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Holy shit dude........stairs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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