ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
accomplished twins. life is a go
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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