I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
