a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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