I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
