i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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