I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
