3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
