Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
