I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
