So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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