I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
