pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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