gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
