Don't you send me to vm
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
