btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
